Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize
