You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
One girl and one boy is just not enough.
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
Randomize
