The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
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