last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
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