You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
Randomize
