Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
