Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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Sorry cotel hasn't picked any favorites yet.

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(720): View more from Colorado

If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.

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(626): View more from California

Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots

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(920): View more from Wisconsin

Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.

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(317): View more from Indiana

I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.

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(832): View more from Houston, Texas

Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.

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(716): View more from New York

you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.

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(626): View more from California

I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?

Fav 2 1035 572
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(716): View more from New York

Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.

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(218): View more from Minnesota

I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.

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