Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
Randomize
