Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
Randomize
