I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
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