1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
Randomize
