he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
Randomize