Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
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