How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
Randomize
