I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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