just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
Randomize
