Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
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