I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
