It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
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