"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
If its not for food we ain't going out.
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Randomize
