i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
Randomize
