Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
my shit smells like andre
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
I just added a bunch of arbitrary options to my ouija board. Ghosts can now tell me "cheddar," "the homosexual agenda," "the whole foods vegan aisle," or "viable offspring"
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
Randomize
