Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
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