you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
Randomize
