Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
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