...so i touched it.
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
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