It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
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