you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
My unemployment check should really just be direct-deposited into the checking account of my drug dealer
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
Randomize
