Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
Randomize
