guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
Nobody cheats on THIS.
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
Randomize
