Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
Me. At least after what I've been through.
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
Randomize
