u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Randomize
