If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
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