But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
Randomize
