We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
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