I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
Randomize
