I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
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