Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
