I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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