Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
Randomize
