if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
You pole danced in your parka.
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
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