do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
I'm always down for nudity.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Randomize
