remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
Randomize
