Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
Randomize
