so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Randomize
