my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
Randomize
