Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
Randomize