So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
My vagina just recognized that song.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
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