I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
I am spending my child support on dildos
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
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