How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
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