maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
She made me pour olive oil on her.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
Randomize
