I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
She even gives head with a lisp.
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
Randomize
