A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
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