I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
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