we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
Randomize
