The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
Randomize
