Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
