There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
Randomize
