Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
Randomize
