Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
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