Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
The struggles of a small town man whore
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Randomize
