My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
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