Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
Randomize
