i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
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