we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
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