My girlfriend figured out who you are.
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Panties = found
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