oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
Randomize