Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
it was like having sex with a tree stump
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
Randomize
