Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
You should frame my arrest warrant.
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
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