It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
Green mimosas i think yes
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
Randomize
