you lied. pity sex is amazing.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
Randomize
